There are millions of categories of waffles on this earth; each of them as awesome as the next. Amateur scientists tend to group waffles all under the same label. This, however, is a grave mistake. There are many ways to categorize a waffle; the shape of the waffle, the shape of the design on it, if any, a combination of both known as the Wafflegorean Theory. Then we get into the various methods of preparation and companies, but for now I will provide a self-compiled list of categories.
The Classic Waffle
This is the original, the simplest and the starting point for all other aspiring waffles.
Originally invented by Nikola Tesla in 1876, the first waffle was just a piece of bread with some squares on it. The waffle has evolved into a thing of wonder; an invention that just makes us wonder, what do elephants dream about?
The Blueberry Waffle
Another waffleering marvel, this was invented by Tesla's cat, Tess. One day Tess was eating a waffle, and she decided "Screw this, I'm fucking sick of waffles. I'm gonna invent something new and unique," So she hired her friend, Perry the Platypus, to buy some blueberries. On the way, Perry was attacked by Megatron! Megatron was then vanquished by Johnny, a carebear who was unsure of which path to take in life; that of a Viking Raider, or Batman. So anyways, I forgot what I was talking about, but yeah. Here's your goddamn waffle. Jesus. Assholes.
The Burnt Waffle
The burnt waffle has a dark and murky past, reflecting on our society's prejudice. Originally imported from Africa as slaves, they grew in number and were soon all over Waffletopia. They grew to be a serious problem; police could never find them in the dark and they held their guns the wrong way. One day, a burnt waffle got on the waffle express, only to be kicked out for being burnt. This waffle, Rosa Waffleparks, stood up for her people. With Martin Luther Waffle's help, the burnt waffles were accepted into modern life. Today, burnt waffles are a large population of our wafflerap culture, with rap icons such as Kanye Waffle, Lil Waffle and Waffle Minaj.
The Chocolate Waffle
Not to be confused with the burnt waffle, chocolate waffles are a crucial part of today's waffle world. These waffles came in from a mysterious land far east that nobody could pronounced in ridiculous numbers, and overwhelmed the white population with their accents and strange behaviour. These are undoubtedly the coolest, gangsterest waffles ever to set foot in waffletopia. They tend to start corner stores in every available area, eventually evolving to a chain and a franchise, becoming money-grubbing corporate figureheads in a waffle-dominated government. They basically suck at every single sport. Except cricket, which nobody else plays except the much-hated pakiwaffles, so it's not really very fair. Chocolate waffles are usually happy and laugh a lot, but can also be massive jackasses for no reason. Other characteristics include being retarded, having ridiculous amounts of free time on their hands, and starting stupid pointless websites and getting totally serious about it.
Not to be confused with the burnt waffle, chocolate waffles are a crucial part of today's waffle world. These waffles came in from a mysterious land far east that nobody could pronounced in ridiculous numbers, and overwhelmed the white population with their accents and strange behaviour. These are undoubtedly the coolest, gangsterest waffles ever to set foot in waffletopia. They tend to start corner stores in every available area, eventually evolving to a chain and a franchise, becoming money-grubbing corporate figureheads in a waffle-dominated government. They basically suck at every single sport. Except cricket, which nobody else plays except the much-hated pakiwaffles, so it's not really very fair. Chocolate waffles are usually happy and laugh a lot, but can also be massive jackasses for no reason. Other characteristics include being retarded, having ridiculous amounts of free time on their hands, and starting stupid pointless websites and getting totally serious about it.
